A New Thing I'm Learning...

As a new pastor, running my own Student Ministry for the first time, I am becoming privey to all those fun little nuggets that the leader has to deal with. These are the things that only the lead guy or girl usually experiences and the rest of us wonder why they think ministry is so hard...

Well the newest thing that I am trying to learn about, and become effective in, is dealing with the issue of how to implement parents into the ministry. I was talking with Kurt Brodbeck, the Junior High Pastor from Northview Christian Life Church, and Kurt Johnston from Saddleback Church (let me just press pause here and bring your attention to the fact that three Kurts... all spelling thier name correctly were talking about youth ministry, THAT DOESNT HAPPEN OFTEN!!) Anyways, we were discussion how to get better at ministering to parents, those that are disconnected and those that you get the feeling want to be TOO connected...

I saw this in Kurt Johnston blog and thought it was very insightful... If you need some advice on dealing with parents give it a read:

The Parent Puzzle
1 Published Thursday, January 18, 2007 by Kurt Johnston.

Utilizing parents in your middle school ministry can be a puzzle. So many pieces need to fit in place: Where do they serve? Do we let them minister alongside their kids? What if their child doesn't want them there? What if their child clings to them?

IMHO, developing a healthy team of parents to serve on your ministry team requires next-level leadership; leadership that takes a lot of work...leadership that lots of youth pastors are unwilling, or unable, to rise to. As a result, it seems like way too many junior high ministries are missing out on a gold mine of potential.

Here are a few thoughts on how to make the most of the parent puzzle:

1) Talk to the student first. How does he/she feel about mom or dad joining your volunteer team? How (or if) you plug the parent into your ministry should usually reflect what you hear from their child.

2) View every parent as a 'case-by-case' situation. I would avoid rules such as "no parent can be the leader of his son's small group" or "Parents are never allowed to sit next to their own kid" etc. Every parent/child relationship is different and no 'rule' applies well to them all.

3) Make sure parents want to minister to all the students in your group, not just their kid. For most, a primary motive will be to spend time with their child, but if they can't give the other students in your ministry equal time then joining your team probably isn't a good idea.

4) If you aren't the parent of a junior higher, you don't know squat! You may not like hearing that, but that's what the parents of your kids are thinking about you. Instead of working hard to prove them wrong, I suggest you admit it and do the hard work of enlisting lots of parents to join your team. I think you'll be glad you did.

The Biology of Cold (aka Scrapeing Ice Before I Drive Is Fun!)

Well is the Weather Chanel's thermometer is correct... it's -5 degrees out right now! This is the coldest I have ever been, LITERALLY!! Winter has finally arrived and with fury! It snowed all day today and all day yesterday, so Katie and I enjoyed a relaxing day off being cooped up in our apartment. As cold as it is, I still am enjoying the life in the Midwest. The changing of the seasons is super fun and Katie and I had a good snowball fight yesterday! She pushed my face into a big pile of snow and ice... I am so lucky that my wife can kick the crap out of me! I still catch myself thinking that its crazy to see snow when I look outside, but I guess I will get used to that. For now its novel and fun. Hopefully it wont wear out on us. Anyways, for those of you complaining about it being cold in California at 30 degrees, feel free to charge out here and experience some negative numbers! Bundle up! Until next time...

I'm Confused...

Well if you saw the game today, you know what I am feeling!! If you know me at all, you know that the New England Patriots have been my all time favorite team since I was like 8, which was before they were any good! And as I celebrated them being the "Team of the Decade" after winning 3 Super Bowls in the last 5 years, I was confusingly crushed to see them beat the San Diego Chargers. I not a normal home town favorite kind of fan, but for some reason, maybe because my wife is from San Diego, and one of her best friends is a Charger Girl, I found myself taking a liking to the Bolts this season. (It didnt hurt that they had the best record in the NFL!) I really tried not to be a fair weather fan, but it was hard not to root for them when it felt like they were overcoming all odds to win!

Then Sunday happened, and while the Charger were not totally outplayed, it was so sad to see them loose it for themselves at home, when they were my favored team to win the Super Bowl this year. It was an absolutely horrible game, on both sides. The first half Tom Brady could get the Pats past the 30 yard line, and the Chargers kept dropping the ball and letting their emotions get the best of them. Even with LT, the rest of the Charger dug themselves into a deep enough hole that it was difficult to recover. Also pray for the kicker... I dont know how to spell his name... I hope he doesn't blame himself. It hurt to see the Patriots get the best of the Charger players. But now that my grieving period is over, I am pulling for my Boston Boys again to go all the way. They will need to step it up big time if they hope to beat the Colts this weekend, which has enjoyable irony with the Colts signing Vinatieri, filling the only real hole in their offense. However, the Patriots defense should hopefully hold the Colts back enough so that Adam is the only one scoring. If they can do that then they should be able to win. Also it would be nice for the Saints to beat the Bears (sorry to all my Midwest friends, I know what I just hoped for is heresy and I will burn forever in Hell for it, but oh well...) because it would be nice for the Saints to have a cool comeback season after Katrina last year... and because they would be easier to beat than Chicago. I totally respect Urlacher, but lets be honest... the man is scary! Anyway my predictions are as follows:

Bears over Saints 35 - 21
Patriots over Colts 21 - 14

Super Bowl:
Bears over Patriots 31 - 28

But I'm pulling for my boys all the way!!

Baggage: Checked!

This weekend was an amazing experience! Not just were we so excited to see our students again after a long absence of vacation and traveling, but we are both so excited about our new series: "Baggage Check." This week we talked about denial and how God wants us to be honest with Him about everything in our life, not just the good stuff, but the messy, hard and hurtful stuff as well, because He can handle our feelings and cares for us. During the message we asked the students to write done one thing in their life that they felt wasn't fair or that was hurtful, on a piece of paper that we gave them and then we asked them if they wanted to to, to drop the paper into the suitcase on stage as a symbol that they were giving God a chance to change them, and they way they feel about that one thing. This response was sparked by Romans 12:2 were God promises to change us from the inside out, by adjusting the way that we think. We had students give up their struggle with drugs, the difficult homelife, their anger towards an abandonded father, admitting they have eating disorder or are dealing with pornography. It was an amazingly powerful weekend. If you wouldn't mind, stop right now as you read this and pray for our students. We are praying so hard that God would give them the courage and strength to take the next steps after this weekend. The battle is just beginning and it is far from over. It will not be easy but our God is powerful and this weekend was a big moment. God is good! It was so exciting to see Him move, as so many students responded! I cant wait for next weekend!

It's a New Year!

Well Katie and I are back in beautiful, and-not-yet-feeling-like-winter-even-though-it's-January, Iowa after a fantastic and enjoyable vacation back to Southern California. We had 11 days to see family, friends, In-n-Out and the beach, which was very sweet. But like many of us, we celebrated New Years in San Diego and got to ring in a fresh start that we have built into our calendar. And I am not a big resolution making person, however this year, as my first year as a full-time student's pastor, I really wantt o grow in some areas this year and develop and improve in some areas. So (drum roll please), here are my top 5 goals for this year:

#5 - Manage My Time More Effectively

I know that many of us say this and we all know that youth ministry is often overwhelming and that there is never enough time to do everything that needs to be done, so while I am at work, i want to be more effective at using my time well. To focus on what really matters, and work hard at making the most of the day, so that I can rest and relax and enjoy my days of more. I want to give God my best this year, in how I use my time.

#4 - To Be A Better Leader

I really want to work hard on leading better this year, to lead my team, lead this ministry and lead the students towards an intense love affair with God. I want to be an example of authenticity and integrity. I want to be a trustworthy leader and a leader who leads a team to risk BIG for the Kingdom of God. I never want to settle in how we are leading this ministry for students, but if we want this ministry to grow, then we have to be growing as leaders, and I want to be a great model of that. Solomon tells us in Proverbs to pursue wisdom, and he was the wisest man who ever lived... so how much more do I need to pursue wisdom in order to lead well. I want to be the kind of leader that the members of my team, and our volunteers, and our students know that I have their back no matter what, and that I will be the first on and the last one off the field. I want to lead Big!

#3 - Become a Better Communicator

I want to consistently push myself to be clearer, more creative and more compelling of a communicator of God's truth to our students. I want to listen to other communicators that are making it happen in their churches, businesses or organizations and learn from them. I want to learn from those who are the best in their field. We will start recording our messages this weekend, and I am going to listen to all the messages that we teach our students so that I can improve how we communicate the most important message in the universe. I want to teach the students HOW to use the Bible to change their lives. The Bible says that it is useful for "everything in life and how to live it the way God wants us to," and I want to be successful at showing students how what God says APPLIES to their lives and middle school and high school students today in the 21st century. So you can bet that I will be watching and listening to a lot of Andy Stanley and Perry Noble and others this year...

#2 - Continue To Be Creative in How We Do Student Ministry

The church is to be the most creative, exciting and innovative place on the planet because we have the Spirit of God, the ultimate creative being, living inside of us and empowering us to reach His lost children with the message of His love! I want to push myself to try new things and dream big and inspire others to live out the dreams that God has placed in their hearts and minds. I never want to be someone who stifles a dream that furthers the Kingdom of God and the mission of our church! I am so excited for this next year because we already have some really crazy things planned, and we are just getting started! It will be rad to see what God has in store for us as we are open to His wind moving through us. I want people to be consistently saying, "Wow, I never knew you could do that in church!" Its gonna be great!

#1 - Love, Adore, Discover and Serve Katie Better Than Ever Before!

I have the best wife in the world. She is my best friend, she makes me laugh, she is an incredible lover of students and family and she is super sexy! I want this to be the best year of our lives! I want to adore her and serve her and learn to lay aside what I want to make her happy. I feel that I have always, but I want to rediscover what it means to "love her like Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for her." This is my ultimate goal, and I want to make sure that she never questions that she is my first priority. I want to make sure I never put our work or our ministry before her, which is a tendency that we all struggle with. She is so amazing and I want to make sure she feels that way.

So what do you think? Good list huh! Anyways, now we are back so look for more posts soon. I am so excited for this weekend at church! We are starting our new series, called "Baggage Check" and it's going to be amazing!